Want to be Emo?

It's easy! just follow these step by step and you'll be labeleled as an Emo by everyone.

• Buy a skateboard and ride it a lot. Also, try and use your calves as little as possible. This will help them become spindly and aid in the fitting of super tight jeans and/or cords.

• Speaking of which, buy a pair. You need to be able to just fit in them. Yes, suck it in, that's right.

• Go and buy yourself an Aston guitar starter pack and learn three or four power chords. Remember, you're not trying to get good, just to be able to play something to whine to.

• Grow your hair so that it makes a straight, long fringe over your face, covering one eye and some of your nose. If you don't have straight hair, get youself a cheap straightened from Target. Buy sine black hair dye and hair gel as well (unless you're of Asian decent, in which case your hair is probably already black)

• Buy lots of t-shirts, all tight, darker shades with stupid designs on them, like concentric circles or tears or some guy looking up into the sky somewhere.

• Mascara. No such thing as too much. Lather it on. (Cool variation; use non water proof mascara and poke yourself in the eyes until you cry-this creates a nice tear effect.)

• Scars! Cut, cut, cut! No one looks Emo without some battle wounds. Cut wrists, slash arms, all good. Cover them up with black, spiked arm bands and look even more Emo! Also good is emotional heartbreak, get a girl, fall in love, do something stupid so that she breaks up with you and then keep convincing yourself that she was the greatest thing that ever happened to you so that you cry a lot. (Time to get the ol'Ashton out and write a song.)

• Tat's are good, down your arm, lot's of purdy colours, like the guy from Good Charlotte.

• Most importantly, accesorise! Buy and iPod, fill it with Emo music (Funeral For A Friend, My Chemical Romance, Something Corporate, etc.) stick in the headfones and never take them out! Ever! Play it so loud that everyone can hear the drums and always ignore what people say until the third time when you yell at them!

• Also, studded belt, spike wristbands and Converse-All-Stars!

• And falafel. Lots of it. Yum.

deaded at 5:29 pm